Tell any woman she’ll have to have chemotherapy and one of her first thoughts will be about chemo hair loss.  We live in a society where a lot of feminine identity is based on our hair. Is it long enough? Straight enough? Curly enough? Too gray? Too wild?

You don’t have to watch TV very long before you see a commercial on hair products. We’re surrounded by societal pressures that the quality and shape of your hair somehow defines your beauty and worth.   It’s no wonder that our hair is one of our first concerns when we hear about chemo treatment.   Here are some of my own experiences and advice after losing my hair.

Before and after cutting my hair for donation. Photo by Beth DeLong

But wait, don’t cold caps prevent chemo hair loss?

Yes, you can do cold caps to help prevent hair loss.  I chose not to.  Basically, the cold temperature of the cap causes vasoconstriction, reducing the flow of blood, and thus chemo, to that area. Because the chemo can’t reach those cells as effectively, any stray cancer cells in that area may survive. Additionally, when breast cancer metastasizes, it’s most likely to spread to the liver, lungs, bones, and brain … I was stage III when diagnosed. For me personally, using cold caps to preserve my hair was not worth the risk of stray cancer cells surviving in my brain.

And truthfully, I’m glad I shaved my head.

Cutting it all off

Before starting chemo I donated my hair and got a high and tight haircut. Knowing that my hair would be used to help someone else made it easier to shave it off. It also meant I wouldn’t gross myself out by finding my shed hair all over the house.

Instead of donating, maybe you’d rather experiment with that super short haircut you always admired but never thought would look good on you? Or heck, get a mohawk and dye the tips like a rainbow.   If you’re going to lose your hair anyway, do something to make it more fun!

My cousin and I with four ponytails to donate. Photo by Beth DeLong

Shaving it down

As predicted, my hair started to fall just over two weeks from the start of treatment. Because my hair was cut so short, I didn’t really notice it until I was showering. One day after lathering up my hair in the shower, I saw dozens of tiny hairs covering my hands. Time to shave it off. My head was already looking patchy after that one shower, so I wanted all of it gone as soon as possible.

If you’re more skilled than me and can shave your own head without missing huge patches, have at it. But if you’d rather someone else shave it and don’t have connections to someone with a razor, ask around before you pay someone. Some salons will shave cancer patients’ heads for free.

A cancer diagnosis comes with more than its fair share of expenses. If there are free services or products on offer, by all means, use them!

I actually had my head shaved a couple of times to get it closer to the skin. My boyfriend at the time was only too happy to go at it with a BIC and shaving cream! Being the goofball that he is, he of course had to shape the shaving cream like whipped topping on my head, turning something potentially devastating into something hilarious.

I cannot stress this enough: everything during your cancer treatment has the potential to be depressing and traumatic; find the humor and joy in the situation whenever possible!! Cancer is not nearly as powerful when you find ways to laugh at the situation.

My boyfriend adding a dollop of shaving cream. Photo by Beth DeLong

Regarding Wigs

When it comes to health and beauty I tend to need the low maintenance option. There’s a reason I never became a cosmetologist. I mean let’s be honest, I’m doing good if my eyeliner looks decent, so there’s not a snowball’s chance I’m striving for anything that requires skill.

Because of that, I chose not to wear a wig after my chemo hair loss. I’d be the girl who messes it all up with one good sneeze. If wigs are your jam, though, there are several resources out there. Perhaps the most obvious one is checking with the American Cancer Society and seeing what options your closest chapter has available.

Also, several hospitals offer their patients one free wig during treatment. Check with your hospital about this option, or with your nurse navigator about other options near you.

As with shaving your head for free, some salons will style your wig for free. This is a wonderful service if you want the look of having hair but aren’t confident in your styling skills!

Opting for Headscarves

Having gone through chemo in the dead of winter, I opted to wear hats and headscarves. If your treatment is over the summer months or if you live somewhere warmer, perhaps you’d rather rock your bald noggin without anything covering it!

I had saved several scarves from my aunt’s stash that I thought would be good headscarves. But I soon discovered that headscarves are a bit trickier to have stay in place than I had anticipated. Only one of the scarves ended up suiting my needs because the others either didn’t have dimensions that would work or the material wasn’t a good match.

Lesson learned: if you’re going to wear headscarves, make sure they’ll actually work for that purpose. I’d suggest trying them on a couple of different ways while you still have hair in case you need to find an alternative.

There are numerous websites and YouTube videos that demonstrate how to tie headscarves. There are also websites like the American Cancer Society and Etsy that sell pre-tied scarves so you just have to slip it on. Most likely your hospital will also sell or have access to a few pre-tied scarves as well.

My Good Wishes scarf. Photo by Beth DeLong

Good Wishes is an organization that donates free head wraps to those experiencing chemo hair loss. It may take a few weeks to arrive, so request one early. I received a wrap from this company and was blown away by the super cute packaging and the personalized card signed by everyone! It seriously made my day!

If You Prefer Hats…

As a knitter who enjoys making items to donate, I loved the idea of knitting chemo caps. When my aunt was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer, my first thought of how I could help was to make her a chemo cap out of a lovely, soft yarn. I was a bit disappointed that she didn’t wear it often.

Then I was diagnosed, lost my hair, and realized just how sensitive one’s bald head is. What may feel really soft to your fingers often becomes scratchy when worn on your more sensitive head. The same was true of the hat I had knit for my aunt. Even if it felt fine for the first half-hour, after that parts of my head would get itchy depending on the material.  Because of this, take care when buying hats so you don’t put a lot of money into items that simply aren’t comfortable.

You won’t run out of places to buy hats or chemo caps! As with the other options, you can likely find hats at the hospital where you receive treatment, or on the American Cancer Society website. My hospital had a cart full of donated hand-knit hats and scarves, which would give you the means to see how your head responded to the yarn without having the extra expense if it didn’t work out.

Oddly enough, probably my two favorite hats were Christmas presents my mom and sister bought on Amazon. This is the one my mom purchased and this is the one my sister gave me. They’re both made of soft cotton so my head wasn’t itchy, cool enough to be worn in the house, and warm enough I could wear them outside in winter. Sadly, these two styles are no longer available on Amazon, but those links will give you an idea of what to look for.

You may also find suitable options through HealinComfort. I haven’t tried these specific hats, but they have a few styles, and I absolutely loved their recovery shirt!

Chemo #3 in the hat my mom gave me. Photo by Beth DeLong

Heck, go bald!

Going bald can feel a bit like going rogue. Even though I told myself over and over again that men rock bald heads all the time and no one bats an eye, it can be a bit daunting when you’re a woman who’s always had hair.  But it’s also delightfully low maintenance and pretty much a necessity if it’s hot outside.

If you have the confidence to walk around bald from the get-go, I applaud you!  Even though I posted all over social media about what I was going through, I still had a hard time biting the bullet and going out on the town with nothing on my head.

What helped me? A henna tattoo. Having that tattoo made me want to show it off, which got me used to going out without a headscarf or hat.

Final thoughts on dealing with chemo hair loss

Whether you prefer to cover your head or let your beautiful cue ball shine, rock it with all ya got! Your body is going through hell right now, battling not only cancer but also chemo side effects – the last thing you need to worry about is your hair.  As I said before, I’m happy I shaved my head and didn’t use a cold cap. I wasn’t feeling well most the time, and it was actually a relief to not have to style my hair or worry about how greasy it looked if I didn’t feel like washing it that day.

Regardless of which head covering your choose (or maybe a combination?), I would recommend getting a lightweight cotton hat to sleep in. I don’t know too many places that sell them offhand, but I know the American Cancer Society website has some options.  Your head will get cold surprisingly easily since it’s not used to being bare, so it’s good to have something on-hand.

Have any other tips on dealing with chemo hair loss? Feel free to share them in the comments!