Hearing the words “you have cancer” is enough to make even the most resilient among us stop in their tracks. It’s a heavy phrase that no one ever wants to hear. And yet, according to the American Cancer Society, approximately 1.8 million people will hear that phrase each year with a new diagnosis. So what are some coping mechanisms you can use during cancer treatment??

Yes, your physical health during this time is incredibly important, but you’ll have a whole team of doctors to aid in your physical health. Don’t forget to take care of your mental health during this time as well! Whether you prefer quieter, gentler ways to cope, or you need a cathartic release of frustration, here are some coping mechanisms to utilize during this overwhelming time.

Counseling

Never underestimate the value of a good counselor! Many hospitals will offer the services of a social worker when you begin treatment. Take them up on it! I never did, and honestly I wish I had. I thought I was OK, but it’s good to have someone outside the family to whom you can bring up your concerns, fears, and frustrations. I say outside the family because you may feel you don’t want to overwhelm your partner, parents, or kids with all the thoughts you’ll have bouncing around.

The hospital social workers are beneficial in other ways, too, so really they’re just a good resource to utilize.

If you’re in New York or New Jersey, Cancer Care offers free counseling. Livestrong and Cancer.net also provide some good information about finding counselors in your area.

Find a Support Network

This doesn’t have to be a traditional support group. Your hospital may have support groups for specific cancers that meet once a month. You can also look into your local Cancer Support Community. Not only do they often have counselors, but also support groups, nutrition classes, and other events to help build a support network. With this pandemic world, resources are often online so you can access them from anywhere.

But you can also look online. Instagram has a huge community of cancer patients and survivors, some of whom host regular Zoom chats. One such survivor is Monica Brooks, who has started some small Zoom chats to allow everyone a chance to talk. (She also happens to be a dear friend of mine, so I will vouch for what a wonderful person she is!)

Additionally, the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation has begun some online chats and events for those with TNBC.

Connect with your social worker, Cancer Support Community, and do a few internet searches, and more than likely you’ll find a group or two that you’ll fit into!

Journaling

Journaling is another great way to vent and get your thoughts out. I definitely utilized this while in treatment and let it all out! The fears, the irritations, the random thoughts, how I was feeling in treatment. I will say I would have liked to have journaled and documented the process more than I did. But it was certainly useful for not keeping everything inside.

If you want to take a deeper dive into your thoughts and emotions, you could look up some journaling prompts. April from Wildfire Magazine, a magazine for breast cancer patients and survivors, also offers writing prompts and workshops that I hear fantastic things about! Though I haven’t done one of her workshops, I know April to be a wonderful person and hope to do one of her workshops in the future!

This was my journal through much of my treatment. I recommend a journal that you WANT to use, with an inspirational cover or whatever lights you up.

Meditation

I never really knew what to expect from meditation before I started. But it does help calm me down before bed so the racing thoughts aren’t as extreme. I’m a big fan of Headspace, and the creator of that app is also a cancer survivor. He even has a Coping with Cancer meditation course that touches on a lot of the common concerns and triggers of a cancer diagnosis and tips on how meditation can help to cope with them. I realize, however, that Headspace has a price tag that can be off-putting for a number of people. At $70 per year, that’s 19 cents per day. Personally, I think it’s worth it.

The Calm App also has a price tag after the 7-day free trial, at $60 per year or $300 for a lifetime. I also hear really good things about Insight Timer, which is free! I tried Insight Timer and don’t have any problems with it, but I was used to Andy’s voice (Headspace) so I found the different voices distracting. If you’re new to meditation or that doesn’t bother you, Insight Timer is a great option!

Read About Others

A cancer diagnosis can feel incredibly isolating, and sometimes it’s just nice to know you’re not alone. That’s one of the benefits of the support groups I mentioned earlier – you find others who are going through the same thing and understand the struggle. But for those of us who may prefer reading or simply being introverts, there are several books where cancer survivors share their stories.

Of course, the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series has one for the Surviving Soul. MK Meredith wrote one about her breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. Kate Pickert touched on her story in her book Radical, while also providing a ton of information about breast cancer in America.

There are dozens of other books, and hundreds if not thousands of blogs, all sharing stories from fellow patients and survivors. An internet search and you certainly won’t run out of options of stories to read!

Lean Into Faith

For those of you who believe in God or hold another faith close to you, now’s the time to lean into that for support! And if you don’t currently believe in God, perhaps this is a good time to start?

My Christian faith has been a huge blessing in dealing with my diagnosis! It’s provided some reassurance that I’m not doing this alone, and that something beneficial can still come from something as devastating as a diagnosis. (For example, this blog, or the knitting group I helped start at church as a result of being home for treatment.)

Perhaps for you this looks like a Bible study or prayer routine. There are also Christian or faith-based books about cancer or life’s disappointments that may be helpful. One I’ve heard recommended is It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa Terkeurst. Another with good reviews (though perhaps hitting a bit close to home for some) is And Still She Laughs. I haven’t read either yet, but they’re on my list!

Two books I thoroughly enjoyed! MK Meredith’s book is just about her story and experience and it’s a quick read. Kate Pickert’s book is incredibly informative! Might be a bit much for those just diagnosed, but it’s a good read!

Scream It Out

Let’s get into some cathartic options. Journaling and counseling are great and have their place, but occasionally you’re going to have some physical energy to release. Seeing as screaming out in the neighborhood isn’t socially acceptable, screaming into a pillow can be a viable alternative. Same cathartic release, same overall effect, but with fewer police cars in front of your house.

Y’all, I just learned about a project going live January 21, 2021, where you can call a phone number (1-561-567-8431) and scream at the phone. That’s literally why that number exists – call, scream, hang up. They’ll record your scream (anonymously) and play it for others who call in later. You can also listen to other screams for inspiration or funzies. Oh what a concept! You can check out their website here.

Yoga or Exercise

Yoga, or any sort of physical exercise, is another good option. It’s actually more physically demanding than you might think, but doesn’t require you to be a size 0 or overly flexible to enjoy the motions. You build strength, release energy, hopefully increase your serotonin levels, and give your mind something else to focus on.

Of course, getting a punching bag or taking up karate are other good cathartic options! I will say, however, that you may not have that much energy once treatment begins, so yoga may be a better alternative.

Dammit Doll

One of my favorites! I had never heard of a Dammit Doll until my diagnosis and coming across them at my local cancer center. If your cancer center doesn’t carry them, you can find them on Etsy or at DammitDolls.com. Basically they look like a Voodoo doll, but they’re intended for you to beat the crap out of them for a lovely, cathartic release.

Pretend it’s your tumor and stick it with pins, throw it at the wall, run over it with your car, set it on fire, or whatever other actions strike your fancy! Depending on where you buy yours, they’re often between $5 and $20, so you can simply destroy one, or you can buy a few to have on hand for whenever you’re feeling ticked off at your diagnosis.

The Dammit Doll! Beat the crap out of it and release all that frustration!

Take a Bat to Your Couch

This genius idea came from a friend and fellow breast cancer survivor. I’m sure you’ve seen those lightweight, plastic ball bats at toy stores that have Hello Kitty or some other cartoon character on it? It’s basically a wiffle ball bat? Go get one of those… and beat the crap out of the furniture.

Because it’s a thin plastic, it won’t tear up your couch fabric or bedspread. But its hollow interior gives the most satisfying THUNK as you go full throttle at the couch cushions. Genius, right?!

Final Thoughts

There is no one way to deal with the gravitas of a cancer diagnosis. Heck, you may go through a few of these coping methods in one day! Don’t deny yourself the grieving and healing process by trying to avoid your thoughts and emotions. Embrace your emotions fully, cry it out, and do what you have to do. Goodness knows holding it all in or pushing thoughts away won’t do you any good.

I hope you got a few ideas on coping during cancer treatment from this article! If you have any others you’d like to share, I’d love to hear about them in the comments below!

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